


You're My Escape

by coffeeblossoms02



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 22:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeblossoms02/pseuds/coffeeblossoms02
Summary: "His name spells trouble, yes. He even smells like regret, I know that. But I love the way he smiles, Yukhei. The way he presents himself to the world. Very confident and unapologetic. He walks like disaster, like a storm in a silent, peaceful day. But you can't help but to stop and stare. He is very brazen, yes, he breaks hearts for collection just because he can, yes, but have you seen the way he handles the small things, Yukhei?





	You're My Escape

**Author's Note:**

> edited the margin because

"Hyung, say 'aaah'"  
_There he goes again, making my poor, poor heart beats faster._ Mark eyed his best friends, looking for salvation from Jaemin. He shouldn't have hoped for anything though. Donghyuck and Renjun snickered at him from the other side of the table.  _Traitors._  
He looked back at Jaemin who was still holding the sandwich in front of his mouth to feed him. If only they weren't at school. If only his former best friends—he needed new best friends now—would have actually helped him, instead of snickering and grinning suggestively at him. "I can eat by myself, Jaemin."  
"Okay then," the boy lowered the sandwich with a pout.  
How Mark wanted to pinch his cheeks because that pout was irritating. It wasn't like Jaemin's pout was the cutest pout Mark had ever seen. Nope.  
"But you have to eat it, hyung. I made it for you."  
Mark blushed harder, the thumping of his heart got louder. "Uh, thanks."  
Donghyuck snorted, "Yeah hyung, eat it up. It's not like you haven't eat breakfast since Jaemin announced he made lunch for us in the group chat or something."  
"You mean ' _for Mark-hyung and not Mark-hyung_ '," Renjun chided and they laughed at Mark's misery.  
How Mark wanted to strangle those little shits.  
Jaemin looked at him wide eyed, "You didn't eat breakfast?"  
Mark gulped. "No, no, I didn't, I mean-"  
Jaemin shoved the sandwich to his mouth to stop him from blabbering frantically. He giggled at Mark's surprised face. "Sorry hyung. But you have to eat," he said with a smile.  
Mark knew his face was deep red, because the duo Satan laughed louder and Jaemin called him cute. He bit the sandwich in half and held the remaining half with his hand, holding his chest where his heart overworking inside. He didn't know having a crush is such great cardio workout. "Thanks, Jaemin."  
Jaemin beamed his pretty toothy smile and Mark was, as always, mesmerized, nothing new there. "Anytime hyung."  
"Jaemin-ah!"  
The four boys turned their heads to a boy running to their table.  
"Hi Jeno," Jaemin greeted the newcomer who slid to sit beside him. He threw his arm around Jeno's shoulder and the other leaned to him. Their skin ship brought ugly feeling in the pit of Mark stomach and he knew his best friends noticed even though they, fortunately, saved him by saying nothing.  
"Yah, why didn't you read my chat? I was waiting for you."  
"Ah you chat me? Sorry Jeno, I didn't check my phone," Jaemin answered, though no regret in his voice. "What did you want?"  
"I'm hungry," Jeno whined in cute voice. If Mark wasn't jealous he'd find that endearing, because who wouldn't fall for Jeno's aegyo. But no, something ugly stirred inside Mark watching Jeno leaning and doing aegyo at Jaemin.  
"Hyung, didn't you have something to do in the student council after this?"  
Mark turned to Donghyuck, who was raising his brows to him, expecting him to follow his play. So he did notice Mark's discomfort after all. Mark was thankful because to balance his foul mouth, Donghyuck was thoughtful.  
"Right. I actually have some papers to sign," he said with a grateful smile to Donghyuck. "That's actually regarding to your club, Injunnie."  
Renjun looked up to him from his phone with mouth full. After swallowing his food, he tilted his head, looking at Mark, thinking. "Ah right! It's about the upcoming exhibition, isn't it?" He exclaimed excitedly.  
Mark nodded, suddenly feeling energetic from his friend's enthusiasm.  
"Wait, you're having exhibit, Injun? When?" Jaemin asked and all heads turned back to him, including Jeno who only needed to crane his neck a bit to see his face from his shoulder.  
Renjun raked his hair shyly, "Ah it's the club, not me. It's by next month, if everything goes smoothly."  
"Still, you're going to participate in it. And that's so cool! We're definitely going to come. Right, Jeno?"  
Something inside Mark cracked at the way Jaemin asked Jeno.  
Jeno nodded eagerly and sat straight up, smiling at Renjun, "Of course we will! We are rooting for you!"  
Renjun blushed, muttering his gratitude and Jeno shot him his blinding eye smile. Donghyuck rolled his eyes beside Renjun but didn't say anything. He turned back to Mark, kicking his shin under the table.  
Mark yelped and glared at him, mouthing "What the fuck?"  
Donghyuck tilted his head, gesturing him to the canteen's exit.  
Mark shut his mouth and nodded subtly. "Guys, Donghyuck and I have to go. Duty calls."  
"Wait, really? But it's still recess time, hyung."  
Mark wanted to admit it was a lie—well not really, he did have papers to sign—and stay with Jaemin.  
Jaemin pouted, "And you haven't eaten everything."  
"I can eat it for you," Jeno chimed, extending his hand to reach Jaemin's sandwiches.  
Jaemin swatted his hand, "They're not for you." He ignored Jeno's fake cry, closing the lunch box and handed it to Mark. "Eat it in the council room then."  
Mark gaped. "Thank you Jaemin, but you don't have to give everything to me. Jeno seems so hungry."  
Jeno nodded in agreement vigorously but Jaemin dismissed them, "I made them for you, hyung." He practically shoved the lunch box to Mark's chest. Mark's heart swelled in pride because Jaemin chose to give the lunch to him over his best friend. "This big baby has eaten my sandwich everyday anyways."  
_Oh._  
Donghyuck cleared his throat. "Well, hyung?”  
Mark turned to him in reflex then back to Jaemin, "Right. I have to go." He finally took the lunch box from Jaemin's hand. "Thank you again."  
"Don't sweat it, hyung," Jaemin said, smiling.  
Renjun shyly pushed his lunch box towards Jeno in the background and Jeno gladly took them and munched happily.  
"See you around, Jaemin."  
"Don't overwork yourself, hyung. You're working overtime already, keeping my mind busy," he winked.  
Mark blushed madly, "Wha-"  
Donghyuck clicked his tongue and pulled Mark with him. "He won't Jaemin, don't worry. If anything, he needs to be overworking instead of overthinking."  
Donghyuck's grip on his wrist was firm. But Mark couldn't stop looking back at Jaemin who waved with a smile at him. He kept looking until they were out of the canteen and the walls blocked his view.  
"Hyuck what the fuck!" He hissed, twisting his hand free from Donghyuck's grip.  
Donghyuck didn't falter; instead he mocked Jaemin's flirting to Mark earlier. "What was that?"  
Mark gaped, his face flushed red. "What is wrong with you?"  
"What is wrong with me? Hyung, what is wrong with you? You were dead red at his cheesy pick up line!"  
Mark was at loss of word. "And what is wrong with it?"  
Donghyuck gasped. "Hyung, he is Jaemin. School's biggest flirt! Don't fall for him!"  
When Mark didn't answer, Donghyuck's eyes widened. "Don't tell me you like him? Hyung?"  
Mark bit his lip.  
Donghyuck threw his arms, exasperated. "Hyung-"  
"Hyuck, I do like Jaemin. I do know him, I do know who he is but I can't stop myself from liking him.  
"I know what you mean. I know you're trying to save me from heartbreak. But please Hyuckie, don't tell me to stop liking him.  
"Because I can't even if I want to. And I don't think I want to stop, Hyuck. I... like him too much already."  
"Hyung, listen to me," Donghyuck tried to hold Mark's hand again but he swatted his had away.  
"No, you listen to me."  
"Hyung..."  
Mark held Donghyuck's shoulder and squeezed it, "I'll be alright, Hyuckie. I'm not fragile, I can handle this." His hand slipped off. "I'll be fine," he patted Donghyuck's back and walked away.  
Donghyuck sighed as he watched Mark's retreating figure in defeat. _There's another reason I don't tell you, hyung..._

Mark was shuffling the papers in his hand; glasses perched on his nose, when a tall figure with broad smile entered the room.  
"Ayo Mark...!" He greeted loudly, hand in the air.  
Mark looked up from the paper, greeted him with a smile and high fived him, "Hey Yukhei, what's up?"  
"Nothing much," he said, grinning and excused himself to sit in front of Mark.  
Mark hummed then focused back on the papers. He could feel the other’s eyes on him but he ignored it, wanting to finish those papers before they went home. He had another load of school works waiting to be done.  
But the eyes got more intense it annoyed him. "What is it, Yukhei?"  
Yukhei shuffled on his seat, resting one foot on another, a habit he did every time he wanted to avoid a conversation. "You know, Hyuckie came to me..."  
Mark didn't look up, just bringing his eyes to Yukhei in unimpressed manner. "If it's about Jaemin, I don't wanna hear of it."  
Yukhei let out frustrated sigh and raked his hand through his hair. "Look, he's worried about you, man. I've never seen him so worked up before, not even with the crazy councils' duties."  
"Look, I appreciate that he's worried about me, a lot, really. But I can take care of myself, Yukhei."  
Yukhei frowned. "I know you can take care of yourself. But this is not only about you, Mark. It's about, Hyuck, your best friend." He stared at Mark. "And me. I'm worried too, Markie."  
Mark sighed and put his glasses on the table. "What is it about you guys worrying over me and my crush?"  
"Because it's Jaemin, Mark. You know he's notorious of playing with people's heart! He has played with like half of the school's population! Hell, even Jeno, his best friend, is school's biggest playboy too!"  
"And Renjun likes Jeno but I don't see you guys fussing over it."  
"Don't make this about Renjun, Mark."  
"Well, you're the one who dragged Jeno's name in this."  
They stared at each other in heated gaze for a while. Mark involuntary shifted his gaze to Jaemin's Rilakkuma lunch box on the table, Yukhei followed his gaze and groaned. Mark glared at him to which the taller flinched a bit.  
Mark sighed, "Look, Yukhei. I am aware of his reputation, but I still like him nonetheless. And I think I'm prepared for a bit of heartbreak knowing that.  
"It's just, I don't wanna let go of these feelings, Yuk...  
"His name spells trouble, yes. He even smells like regret, I know that. But I love the way he smiles, Yukhei. The way he presents himself to the world. Very confident and unapologetic. He walks like disaster, like a storm in a silent, peaceful day. But you can't help but to stop and stare. He is very brazen, yes, he breaks hearts for collection just because he can, yes, but have you seen the way he handles the small things, Yukhei?  
"The way his eyes lit up at plush toys, even though they won't last long in his possession. The way he cooks very carefully, because he doesn't cook for himself, but for someone else. The way he coos at cute, younger kids," he chuckled; remembering one time when Jaemin pinched Chenle's cheeks even though the younger did nothing, he did that because Chenle was simply being cute.  
"You can't be sure of how someone is, based solely on their reputation. I've been trying to know him better, Yukhei. And, reputation is just reputation, you know.  
"You should try to know him better too, Yukhei. I'm sure you can be good friends."  
Yukhei stared at him in awe. "Wow, you're whipped."  
Mark laughed. "I delivered long ass speech and that's all you've got to say?"  
Yukhei rubbed his nape abashedly. "Well I'm not as good as you with words," he said. "But I guess you're right, I can't judge someone based on their reputation. That's... unfair. And basically _baseless_."  
Mark chuckled and shrugged, "It's okay, Yukhei. You're sorry. I just hope you learn something from it."  
Yukhei smiled and nodded, "I will, Mark."  
Mark followed suit nodding, "Good."  
"Still, I didn't know you're this gone for Jaemin. Like, shit man," he teased, grinning.  
Mark threw a pen at him, "Shut up."  
The taller laughed, clutching his stomach.  
When the laughter died down, he stood up, "Talk to your best friend later, okay? You know he's a worry wart over you."  
Mark smirked, "Is the boyfriend jealous now?"  
The pen he threw at Yukhei flew back at him with a curse and he wheezed on his seat. When Yukhei left, he looked at the lunch box sitting quietly near his elbow. He smiled to himself and finished the rest of the contents.  
He fished out his phone and opened a chat app, contacting someone. He typed something then focused back on his neglected papers. But his attention was stolen back when his phone dinged a notification to which he grinned wildly.

Mark walked to the quiet, dark side of the campus, to an abandoned building in the far back of the facility. He knew he was nearing his destination when he heard muffled moans. He said he was prepared, but he still felt his heart cracking. He stopped on his track to compose himself, inhaling and exhaling slowly, opening and closing his hands on fists, trying to calm himself down. After countless long breathes, he continued his walk.  
He wished he didn't.  
Jaemin had a girl pinned to the wall, his hand on her waist. They were kissing. When Mark was contemplating either to interrupt them or not, the girl opened her eyes and saw him. She pushed Jaemin abruptly. Jaemin fell on his butt with annoyed grunt.  
"What the-"  
"Mark?!"  
Jaemin snapped his head towards Mark. Mark cringed at the sound of bone cracking. No matter how much the scene before pained him, he still found himself worrying over Jaemin's wellbeing.  
Jaemin got up and dusted his pants, grinning. "You're here."  
Mark scratched his ear, "Did I interrupt something? I can come back later-"  
"No, hyung. We're done here," Jaemin turned to the girl, "Right?" His head tilted towards where Mark came from, gesturing the girl to go.  
The poor girl was too embarrassed to object, she practically sprinted her way away from the boys.  
Jaemin wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry you have to see that, hyung," he had the decency to smile sheepishly then walked towards Mark. Mark wanted to turn back and walk away but he liked Jaemin too much to leave him.  
Mark shook his head, "It's okay, Jaemin-"  
"No, it's not, hyung," Jaemin said, looking at Mark in the eyes.  
"Why?"  
"Because you will hate me," he answered in hushed tone.  
"I can never hate you," Mark said in equally whispered tone.  
He smiled then pulled Mark to a kiss. "You're too good for your own good."  
"Is it bad?" Mark asked when they pulled apart, breathless, "To be good?"  
Jaemin chuckled, "No, hyung." He caressed Mark's cheeks, "It's just, you’re too good for me." He kissed him again.  
Mark dropped the bag in his hand and hugged Jaemin's neck. He ignored Jaemin's chuckle at his needy touch, as the younger would always call it. Because it was true, he needed to feel Jaemin to mend his heart after it broke over and over again because of the said boy.  
He kissed those lips, the same lips Jaemin used to kiss the girl from earlier. He could taste her on Jaemin. She was sweet, like cinnamon tea and cherry chapstick. He let those hands roamed on his body, the same hands Jaemin used to touch the sweet girl. He wanted to hate her but he couldn't, because she didn't knew Mark's rendezvous with Jaemin. Nobody did. He let Jaemin stitched the wound on his heart, with his sweet sweet mouth, his experienced tongue, and empty promises.  
"We should get going, Jaemin," he said breathily when the younger's mouth latched on his neck.  
"Where to?" Jaemin asked, lips not leaving Mark's skin, too busy sucking, nibbling. He smirked when Mark moaned as he bit the elder's chest. His hand on Mark's waist traveled lower and groped his ass. Mark gasped, thrusting his hips involuntarily from the stimuli. Mark was never vocal in this context, but Jaemin loved the voices he elicited every time he touched him, and he brought the worst out of Mark.  
"J-Jaemin, don't-"  
Jaemin hummed then pulled away, inspecting his work. Too late, he thought as he admired the trail of hickeys from Mark's neck to his chest he just created. He shifted his gaze to Mark's eyes. He looking at him with glassy, hazy eyes, and face flushed red, panting, looking so unruly unlike how he looked in front of the others, flawless, polished and perfect. He shushed Mark's whimper, pulling the elder's hand away from covering his mouth. "Let me see you, hyung."  
Mark's lips were swollen, moist with their spit, red and oh so enticing. "You're so handsome, hyung." He gave Mark innocent kiss before helping him buttoning his uniform shirt again. Then he combed his hair with his hand. "I'm sorry, hyung."  
"For what?" Mark croaked voice still thick with lust.  
Jaemin looked at him in the eye, "For doing this to you.  
"I know what your friends think of me, hyung. I know what they're talking about me behind my back." He chuckled humorlessly, "I know it bothers you, yet you still come back to me."  
"Jaemin..."  
"I think they're right, hyung. You should stay away from me. I'm bad for you-"  
Mark cut him off with a kiss. "I won't forgive you if you ever say that again. Besides, since when you care about what people say?"  
Jaemin chuckled, flustered from the sudden kiss. He looked at his hyung's serious eyes, "I care because they're your friends, hyung. I care if it’s about you. And I know you've been defending me too, hyung." He mustered his best smile, "Thank you."  
Mark smiled, "No need to thank me, Jaemin. I don't mind." He wanted to believe the younger but he didn't want to hold his hopes high, knowing fully well with whatever it was he had with Jaemin, he'd get his heart broken again. He hugged the younger, "I never did."  
Jaemin hugged him back, caressing his hair. He kissed the elder’s neck, not feeling like saying anything. He closed his eyes, syncing his breath with Mark.

"Jaemin stop," Mark said with small giggle.  
"Hmm? But I'm not doing anything though?" Jaemin retorted innocently, head not leaving Mark's shoulder, moving his hands from tickling Mark to hugging the latter.  
Mark rolled his eyes playfully, "Get your hands off me then. I'm trying to open the door."  
Jaemin hummed and snuggled to Mark's neck, "Can't. I'm comfortable."  
Mark tilted his head slightly to snicker fondly at Jaemin. He'd seen Jaemin pressed too close to him so many times before, but Jaemin never failed to make his heart skipped a beat. He kissed Jaemin's cheek startling the younger, but it was him who blushed by his own action. Jaemin paid him back with playfully bit the skin under his hear, tickling him making him laughed. He struggled to reach his keys in his bag, but the younger man clinging to him didn't make his life easier at all.  
After much difficulties, and kisses, Mark managed to open the door and practically dragged Jaemin to the couch in the living room. The younger was so adamant about sticking to him, literally. Now that they were finally on the couch, Jaemin didn't waste no time, and went back to kissing Mark everywhere. Mark couldn't say he minded as he kissed back as feverishly. They laughed as they kissed, limbs tangled, temperature heightened, and heavy feelings forgotten.  
"Mark?"  
Jaemin jumped off of Mark, scooting as far as the couch allowed. "I swear I'd die young if I hear your name in this situation again-"  
A man with lovely smile appeared on the door.  
"Dad? You're home?"  
"What do you mean I'm home? You aren't happy to see your own dad?"  
Mark was flustered. "No, dad, I mean, I thought you'd be home late."  
"Well, I'm here now aren't I?" He smirked taking the look of his flustered son, eyeing his disheveled state, and glaring hickeys on his poor son’s neck.  
Mark coughed. "By the way, dad, this is Jaemin, my... friend." He took a glimpse at the younger that masked his fluster better. He thought he was imagining things when he saw disappointment in his eyes that disappeared as soon as it appeared.  
Jaemin walked to Johnny to shake his hand, "I'm Jaemin. Nice to meet you, Sir."  
Johnny laughed, "Nice to meet you too, Jaemin. And please, just call me Johnny. Or 'Dad' would be fine."  
Apparently Mark-hyung got his easy to laugh trait from his dad, Jaemin thought.  
"Daaad!"  
"What?" Johnny looked at his son mockingly then turned back to Jaemin, "You don't mind, do you, Jaemin?"  
"Absolutely not, Dad," Jaemin answered with equally mocking grin at Mark.  
"See? You should learn from my new son, Mark," Johnny said, throwing his arm around Jaemin's shoulder for a good measure to tease Mark further. "Or should I say, my son in law?"  
Mark gasped dramatically.  
"I thought I'd have to go through formal meeting with you before I become your son in law, Dad," Jaemin joked.  
"Oh you have to, with Jaehyun, Mark's appa. But with me, as long as you make my baby happy, I'm fine," Johnny said with a wide grin.  
"I'll keep that in mind, Dad."  
"Good," Johnny said, still grinning.  
"Stop it, you two!" Mark snarled, too embarrassed by the two’s teasing.  
Johnny laughed and raised his hands defensively, "Okay, okay. Chill out, young man." He eyed his son then Jaemin. He smiled, patting Jaemin's back, "Be good to my son, okay?"  
Jaemin saluted him, "Aye aye, Sir."  
Johnny nodded, pleased, then he pushed Jaemin towards Mark. "I'll be in my room if you need me."  
When Johnny turned to leave and Jaemin walked to him, Mark groaned. "I'm sorry about my Dad."  
"I like your Dad, he's funny,” he said, sitting back on his previous seat beside Mark.  
Mark snorted, "As funny as a photojournalist can get."  
"Hyung, your jokes are worse," Jaemin deadpanned.  
Mark threw a cushion at him and the younger retaliated, throwing more cushions he could find at the older. And soon pillow fight and fits of giggles broke out. They laughed like the little kids they were.  
Suddenly Johnny poked his head on the door and the boys stopped their pillow fight, "And by the way, I just want to remind you not to let Jaehyun Appa see your hickeys or he'll freak out, Mark."  
Mark blushed madly. "Dad!"  
"And don't forget to use protection, son!" Johnny ran out of the room, shouting from behind the walls.  
"Dad! Oh my gosh!"  
Jaemin rolled beside him, laughing to his heart's content.  
Mark groaned at laughing Jaemin then walked to the kitchen.  
"Wait, where are you going?" Jaemin asked, getting up following Mark.  
"Getting us drink. Aren't you thirsty?"  
Jaemin sneaked his arms around Mark's waist, whispering to his ear, "I'm thirsty for you only, babe."  
Mark scrunched his nose, "Ew, don't."  
"What is that? You weren't complaining when I was kissing the light out of y-"  
"Okayyyyy!" Mark screeched, couldn't contain anymore Jaemin's teasing. He wriggled out of Jaemin's embrace and prepared chocolate milk and bread for the both of them with Jaemin’s help. After that, they rushed to Mark's room.  
Jaemin was bold, undeterred, and dominating by nature, or 'too much of a brat' as Mark would like to think. As soon as the door closed and the tray of snack put down on the table, Mark found himself pinned down to the bed. The younger went back working on leaving marks on the expanse of Mark's skin, not giving the older a chance to protest.  
Jaemin watched Mark's sleeping figure on his chest. The older was a leader to the world, shouldering responsibilities most of kids his age wouldn't want to bother, working and studying harder than any other, making himself an example of how he'd want to see people, kind beyond reasons. However, when no one was watching, his shoulder slumped, he sighed and he stared into the distance. Jaemin hated him at first, taunting the older just to put his own power to test, thinking Mark was nothing more than 'kids with privileges'. But the more he got to know the older, he saw not only handsome, young prodigy, but also a little boy with big dreams and bigger heart it warmed his own heart. And somewhere along in own game, Jaemin found himself thinking about Mark, more often than he'd like to admit. In the midst of his own discoveries about the older, he got himself considering other's feelings-- Mark's feelings—something he often disregarded, thinking he was the universe's only child. Upon finding Mark's defenseless side every time they were alone together, he knew he had lost, in his own game.  
He stroked Mark's hair gently, not wanting to wake him up. The only times Mark let himself breathe was when he was with Jaemin, so he would let the older sleep as much as he could. He kissed Mark's forehead, "Rest well, hyung."  
He sneaked out of the room, but when he was about to leave the house, Johnny caught him. "You're leaving? Where's Mark?"  
"He's sleeping; I don't wanna wake him up."  
"You don't wanna stay for dinner?"  
Jaemin shook his head, "Thanks for the offer Johnny, but I have to go."  
Johnny smiled and patted Jaemin's back. "Alright. Take care, Jaemin."  
Jaemin nodded and left.

Jaemin watched as the fire flickered in front of him. There was something calming about setting up fire, putting anything in it, and just watched as the fire ate everything, turning them into black, shapeless substances then into ashes. He threw another crumpled paper to keep the fire lit up.  
His phone dinged but he ignored it. He groaned when the ding grew incessant, urging him to check what that was about. He fished out his phone to see a name looking for him. Not wanting to waste more of his time, he called the person. The call was answered in the first ring. "I'm at home," he said then hung up the phone.  
He sighed and pocketed both his hand, focused back on watching his flame. His mind wandered back to his Mark-hyung. He remembered the way Mark’s face lit up when something caught his interest, when his eyes turned into crescent every time he laugh at pretty much everything, when his seagull brows furrowed if he was confused or conflicted, when his nose scrunched in disapproval, or when he was embarrassed of his own jokes, or when he mumbled random notes and danced. He'd seen him in working mode, all serious and strict, but demanding no perfection, focusing more on the progress in learning and growing. But his favorite was when Mark was alone with him, he got to see the older being a child, leaning to his touches, giving in to Jaemin babying him, and just Mark being carefree.  
A shout calling his name pulled him out of his reverie. Jaemin didn't bother turning to greet his guest. But a hand turned him swiftly and he was pulled into a kiss. The kiss was rough, with teeth clashed, desperate, but mostly, angry. He felt his jacket tugged roughly off of his shoulders.  
He pulled away, "Whoa, easy there tiger."  
He wanted to make some petty remarks, but he stayed silent when he saw a pair of black eyes, red and swollen with remnants of tears staring back at him in anger. "What is wrong, Hyuck?"  
"Take me."  
Jaemin stared at Donghyuck incredulously. "What?"  
"You heard me, asshole." He pulled Jaemin by the neck for another kiss.  
Jaemin grunted when Donghyuck bit his lower lip. As much as he loved Donghyuck’s boldness, he was still confused by the latter’s action. He pulled away, "Hyuck, what is this about?"  
Donghyuck didn't answer and started peppering Jaemin with kisses instead.  
Jaemin pulled away again, holding Donghyuck's wrists in his. He was shocked to see tears started flowing from his face. Without a word, he pulled Donghyuck to his room.  
“Jaemin?”  
Jaemin totally forgot he wasn’t alone at home. He squeezed Donghyuck’s hand, gesturing him to go to his room first. When the latter left him, he turned to see Sicheng, Yuta’s new husband.  
“What is it?” he spat. He regretted it when Sicheng flinched, but he couldn’t find it in himself to warm up with Sicheng. Sicheng had been nothing but sweet, kind and caring to him, but he still couldn’t forgive Yuta for leaving Dongyoung, his dad, for Sicheng. And he wanted someone to blame, to feel his disappointment, to feel his anger, even though he knew it was wrong. And Sicheng happened to be there.  
“Why didn’t you tell me your friend’s coming over? Do you want me to prepare food?” Sicheng asked with smile even though Jaemin just spat at him.  
Jaemin bit back a snarky remark; he shoved his hands to his pockets and shrugged. “No need, thanks.”  
“Are you sure? Isn’t your friend hungry? I can make that honey tteokbokki you like.”  
He wavered at the mention of his favorite food, but Jaemin was stubborn. “I said no need, Sicheng. Me and my fried can cook, we can make something ourselves if we’re hungry.”  
Sicheng smiled, “Okay then. But please do tell me if you need anything, okay, Jaemin?”  
“Whatever,” Jaemin answered, leaving dejected looking Sicheng standing alone.  
When Jaemin came to his room, Donghyuck was crying. He clutched tight to Jaemin when he sat down like Jaemin was his lifeline. Jaemin tried soothing the other with stroking his back, rocking him a little. He might be good with luring people in with his sweet words, but he was clueless with handling breakdowns so he said nothing. He let Donghyuck cried in his arms, leaving wet patches on his clothes.  
When the cry reduced into sobbing, still holding Jaemin, Donghyuck asked, "Why do you have to go after Mark?"  
Jaemin pulled back a bit to look at Donghyuck in the face, but the later buried his face to Jaemin's neck. He sighed, going back to rub Donghyuck's back. He cradled the boy on his lap. "So this is about Mark?"  
Donghyuck nodded and started crying again. "He's my best friend, Jaemin. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve- you don't deserve him. Hell I don't deserve him as a best friend, Jaemin!"  
Jaemin didn't say anything. He knew Donghyuck was right. They hurt Mark.  
He didn't know how it all started, but when he was struggling to break Mark's walls, another trouble in the form of Donghyuck caught his eyes. Mark was the calm sea while Donghyuck was a ball of energy. Mark was a cryptic puzzle, subtle signs Jaemin had to be very attentive to solve; but Donghyuck was an open book he was free to interpret. Mark was a star for him to reach; and Donghyuck was a comet whose energy was compatible to him. Mark would shy away from his touch; Donghyuck would always return the favor twice as eager.  
"Kiss me, Jaemin."  
And Jaemin complied. He studied his facial expression, he tuned in his voices, and he learned the places that got him squirming under Jaemin's touch. But Donghyuck wasn't Mark.  
Mark was shy because he wanted Jaemin to feel good too, while Donghyuck loved attention so much. Mark was gentle, delicate and accommodating, while Donghyuck was loud, bold and thoughtful. Mark and Donghyuck were the polar opposites of each other, yet they were the complementary of one another. Before Jaemin came into the picture, they were unquestionably strong. Then Jaemin came along, shaking their bond with making them both having affairs behind each other's back.  
Jaemin was reaching out for Mark, but his hand also found purchase of Donghyuck. He was messing with Mark, but he fooled around with Donghyuck. Now he was hurting them both. And something inside him was aching too. And he knew who his heart was yearning for, something that never happened before.  
He leaned to the balcony railings, lit up a cigarette and mindlessly puffed the smoke to the quiet air that was engulfing him. He looked to his bed and stared at Donghyuck curled, sleeping, exhausted from the crying and their kisses. He was tossing and turning in his sleep, but Jaemin didn’t want to wake him up. He turned away, staring at the sky, letting his mind wandered about. But who he was trying to fool, even when he was physically with Donghyuck, his mind was occupied by Mark.  
Donghyuck woke up sweating, his breathing was heavy, and his heart beat fast. He dreamt about Mark. He couldn’t remember, but he was certain that it wasn’t good. He looked to his side to find Jaemin wasn’t with him. But the smell of cigarette guided him to find Jaemin’s figure in the balcony. He hoisted himself and walked towards Jaemin, back hugging him. He didn’t know how but Jaemin could always ease his mind better than Yukhei, his own boyfriend. Even though he knew Jaemin was trouble, he always found himself coming back to Jaemin and his feverish kisses. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”  
Jaemin paused for huffing the smoke before answering, “You look tired.”  
Then the air was thick with uncomfortable silence and either boy didn’t know how to break the tension.  
Jaemin turned to look at Donghyuck. He should choose. He couldn’t keep messing with people’s heart, with Mark’s heart. "I think we should stop this, Hyuck."  
A slap landed on his cheek, so hard his head tilted to the side. But he expected no less. He was breaking things off with Donghyuck after all.  
"Will you tell me why?"  
He smiled, "I think I'm in love with Mark-hyung, Hyuck."  
Donghyuck beamed even though tears rolled on his face. "You better love him right, you asshole."  
Jaemin just pulled a tired smile, “I will, don’t worry.”  
Donghyuck surprised him with a hug. “Thank you for everything, Jaemin.”  
Jaemin hugged him back and kissed the top of his head. “No. Thank you, Donghyuck”

Jaemin closed his helmet's glasses and turned his bike's machine on. He looked to his side where his opponents doing the same, blaring their machines, wafting hot, thick, not so environmentally friendly smoke behind them, nodding in acknowledgment at each other. They waited until the flag girl swung the flag upwards. When the bright yellow flag was high in the air, five bikes sped up on the road. The rule was simple, not to get caught by the police.  
Jaemin rode his bike at the full speed, skillfully finding his way on the scarcely empty road. His eyes were focused on the road, but not his head. He drove for fun, at first, testing his own skill and driving his adrenaline rush, then for escape when reality got his best, and finally for peace, when there was no place he could turn to put his mind at ease. There was something calming about riding between the seas of vehicles, keeping his balance to fly on the road, chasing the sun. Then he started racing, trying his luck. And the adrenaline rush, the desire to win, the thrilling sensation when he tried to escape the police got him addicted. The people he met on the street weren't so bad either, they let him come whenever he wanted without asking questions, and they didn't prey when he didn't come, they let him be, knowing full well they were all fighting with their own battles. The street wasn't home, but it was comfortable and that was enough reason for Jaemin.  
Jaemin was in the second position in their last lap. He didn't care much about winning, even though he'd lose his money in the bet. But none of it was any of his concerns. He just wanted to ride. None of the rider cared about the race itself either anyway, they only raced for fun, and he knew that some was just like him, riding for escape. In the last turn, Jaemin didn't hit the brake, not reducing his speed. He let his bike flew and he saw a light.  
The crowds roared. Jaemin was lying breathless on the road, his bike was somewhere near him, abandoned. For one second, he thought he died.  
"Congratulations, Jaemin!" Dongmyeong came to his view, hovering above him with gleeful smile. The lights behind him served as halo, making him looked like an angel. He stood straight when Jaemin covered his eyes, blocking the light.  
"Am I dead yet?" Jaemin grunted.  
Dongmyeong laughed and pulled him to stand on his feet, "Too bad, you're still here, flesh and bones with us."  
Jaemin thanked him and opened his helmet. "Then what am I supposed to do with my casket?"  
"Burn it."  
They laughed.  
"Yo Jaemin!"  
Jaemin turned to high five Jinyoung.  
"Nice game, man. I almost got you there."  
Jaemin laughed, "I was just lucky, I guess."  
Jinyong stared at him with unreadable expression for a moment before giving him soft smile. He put his hand on Jaemin's shoulder and patted him, "You did well, Jaemin." He just smiled as Jaemin stared back at him in confusion.  
Before Jaemin could say anything more to Jinyoung, Taeeun came, side hugging him, "Jaemin, my man! Congratulations!"  
Jaemin laughed, "Thanks, Taeeun-ah."  
Taeeun fished a bundle of bet money from his waist bag and handed them to Jaemin, "Here's your prize, Champ."  
Jaemin took the money and gave half back to Taeeun.  
Taeeun cheered, kissed the money and waved it in the air, "This is the true champion, fellas!"  
"Let's get to the party!" Dongmyeong shouted.  
And the crowd cheered louder.  
Jaemin just laughed, basking in his victory, drowning in the moment. He let himself getting congratulatory hugs from everyone, forgetting about his problems for a moment.  
Everyone was ecstatic until someone yelled, "Cops!"  
The crowd scattered, shuffling on their feet reaching their own respected vehicles, including Jaemin. He put on his helmet back and rode his bike away from the spot, separating ways with the others. He rode in panic, escaping the police car on his tail, took random turns and twisted in random places until he couldn't hear the deafening siren anymore.  
When he managed to escape, he found himself lost. He'd rode too far he barely recognized the road. When he was trying to find a way back, he failed to notice another bike coming his way.  
The next thing he knew, he was laying on the road again. He blinked, his whole body felt numb. When he heard the other person coming to him, he cursed his luck.  
Jaemin was pulled up by the collar, "The fuck were you doing? Don't you have eyes in that thick skull of yours?"  
Jaemin pushed the hands on his collar and stood up. "Fuck off."  
"The fuck are you saying, kid?"  
Jaemin caught the fist aiming to his stomach in the air, twisting it easily until he heard bone cracking. "I said 'fuck off', old hag." He gave the guy countless kick until he fell unconscious and left him lying on the road. He threw his helmet away and walked off.  
He was lucky to get a taxi at God knew what time it was in the middle of nowhere. When the driver asked him of the destination, Jaemin just showed him an address from his phone and he started driving. The driver kept glancing at him worriedly on the rearview mirror.  
"Are you okay, kid? Do you want me to drop you at the hospital?"  
_What is it with these fuckers calling me kid?_ "No, I'm fine, Sir. Don't worry," he turned his head to the window, ending the conversation. He was grateful the driver got the message and left him be, watching the night view blurred past him. As the exhaustion caught up to him, Jaemin was drifted to sleep.  
When they arrived, the driver woke Jaemin up. He rubbed, blinked, and yawn the sleep away. It was still night time. When he paid the charge, he blinked. _Fuck, I really did ride too far._ He thanked the driver and slipped out.  
When the taxi was out of his view, he stared at the house in front of him. He sighed and started climbing the wall. When he reached the balcony on the second floor, he took out his phone to dial a number. It took him several calls for the other line to answer. He wasn’t mad though. _Who in their right mind would be awake at such wee hours?_  
"Hello?" Greeted a raspy voice.  
Jaemin chuckled at the sleepy voice. "I'm sorry I wake you up, hyung. But can you open your window?"  
"Huh?"  
Jaemin chuckled again, "Your window, hyung. Open it, please. It's cold outside," he said even though he was wearing denim jacket. He knocked the window glass softly.  
Jaemin could hear sheets shuffling and a loud thumping. Most likely Mark fell from his bed. And a groan.  
He giggled again. Sound of dragged footsteps coming to the window. Jaemin embraced himself, grinning wildly.  
The window opened, showing a disoriented looking Mark. "Jaemin? What are you doing?"  
Jaemin chuckled then pecked Mark's cheek. "Hello to you too, hyung."  
Mark blushed but didn't say anything. He moved to the side to allow Jaemin to enter his room. The younger moved swiftly to the room.  
Mark walked to his closet and took comfortable clothes for Jaemin to change. When he turned, the younger was already shirtless. He could feel blood rushing to his face but he couldn't look away.  
He knew the younger was toned, but he didn't expect that. His chest was firm, he got six packs, and did he have a v line. How Mark wanted to run his hand on them.  
"Like what you see?"  
Mark blushed harder. The younger even had the audacity to smirk at him. He groaned and walked to hand Jaemin the clothes. In the closer proximity, he noticed purple bruises adorning Jaemin's body. "What in the fuck happened, Jaemin?"  
"Eyyy is my baby Markie cursing now?"  
Mark just glared and threw his clothes at the younger. He sprinted out of his room without saying anything. He went back with ice packs in his hand and saw Jaemin inspecting his own bruises, wincing from the pain.  
Mark kneeled in front of Jaemin, moving his hand away from the bruises. His heart clenched at the angry bruises on Jaemin's milky skin. He didn't want to ask, but he couldn't stop himself, "What happened, Jaemin? Did someone hurt you?" He looked up to Jaemin, searching in his eyes.  
Jaemin stared back at him with small smile, "Don't look at me like that, hyung. I'm fine. I just fell from the bike."  
"What?!"  
_Oops._  
"How did that happen? What were you doing? Why are you here? You should be at the hospital, Jaemin!"  
"It happens, hyung. And I'm fine, really."  
"How is this fine?" Mark gestured at Jaemin's bruises frustratedly.  
Jaemin chuckled, "You're cute when you're mad."  
"Wha-"  
Jaemin pulled him to his lap. "Just kiss it better, hyung."  
"You're the worst, you know that."  
"I'll take that as a compliment," he said in hushed tone then kissed Mark, swallowing his protest.  
When Mark touched his bicep, Jaemin winced, making Mark pulled back abruptly. "Oh my God, I'm sorry Jaemin, I'm sorry I'm sorry."  
Jaemin chuckled and shushed him. "It's okay, hyung. It's fine."  
Mark shook his head disapprovingly then got up from Jaemin's lap. He took the ice pack and pressed it carefully on a bruise. He froze when Jaemin flinched. He looked at Jaemin's eyes, studying his reaction. He pressed the ice pack back to the bruise very gently. "How long has it been from the fall?"  
"Not long, I think," Jaemin lied. He knew Mark would freak out if he told him it had been few hours. What he didn't know wouldn't kill him.  
Mark snorted, " _You think_." He pressed the ice pack on another bruise harder, making the younger groaned. He treated the other bruises not so carefully this time, not looking at Jaemin's eyes. "You're crazy, do you know that? You stupid, idiot," he said with pressure on his hand with each words, Jaemin winced each time. Tears threatened to fall from Mark's eyes.  
"Hyung..." Jaemin called but Mark didn't budge.  
"Hyung, look at me," he said, tilting Mark's chin with his finger. Glassy eyes staring back at him. He caressed Mark's cheek with his thumb, "I'm fine, hyung. These bruises can't break me."  
Mark tilted his head to the side and bit Jaemin's thumb. Jaemin yelped, throwing his hand to the side. Mark glared at him, "Those bruises can't break you but seeing you hurt breaks me, dammit!"  
"Hyung..." Jaemin reached Mark's face.  
Mark swatted his hand away, "Don't 'hyung' me, you idiot."  
Jaemin laughed, pulling Mark's head to his chest, ignoring the pain on his bruises because of the pressure. "Oh my God I love you so much, hyung."  
Mark was taken aback. He tilted his head up to look at Jaemin. Jaemin was smiling oh so brightly at him. "You love... me?"  
"Yes, hyung. I'm sorry I never said it before. But I do, hyung. So much."  
Mark gaped. His heart was bursting with happiness. There was too much to feel, too much to say, but everything was caught up in his throat.  
"Aren't you gonna say it back?"  
Mark laughed but his tears were falling. He laughed and cried so hard Jaemin stared at him confusedly. He lunged himself onto Jaemin until they fall laying on his bed. "I do too, idiot. I love you too. So much."  
Jaemin laughed. His body was aching from the pain but he couldn't feel anything. All he could feel was the crying mess on top of him. He hugged Mark so tightly so closely to him, afraid if he didn't hold him right, he'd lose Mark forever. He kissed Mark's head and laughed again, never feeling so full, so right, and so in love before.

Mark and Jaemin were lounging on the school's back field. Jaemin was grounded when Yuta found out he lost his bike and had beaten him good. If Sicheng hadn't stopped him, Jaemin would have died.  
"I'm going to race again in few weeks," Jaemin announced. "The prize is good, it’s the loser's bike."  
Mark snorted, “Do you even have a bike to race with?"  
Jaemin had told Mark about his racing as his escape. The older seemed trouble at first, but didn't say anything, letting him continue with his rambling. He just called him idiot when he said he left his bike on the unknown road (he left out the part his bike crashed with another one).  
Jaemin shrugged, “Jinyoung said he’d let me borrow one of his bikes, free of charge. I just have to win several more races to have enough money for a new bike.”  
Mark looked at him with conflicted expression. “Just please, don’t get hurt.”  
Jaemin looked at Mark in the eye, brow raised. "You're not going to stop me?"  
Mark leaned to the wall on the opposite of Jaemin and shrugged. "Everyone has an escape, I guess."  
Jaemin snorted from where he was crouching, "Says you. And you, what's your escape?"  
Mark pulled a crooked smile. "You. You are my escape."  
Jaemin sent him lopsided smile. He crooked his fingers, gesturing for Mark to come to him. The older complied.  
He sat down, pulling Mark down with him to sit on his lap. Mark rested his hands on Jaemin's shoulder. Jaemin trailed kisses from Mark's hand on his shoulder, to his hand, his shoulder, to his ear. He rested his chin on Mark's shoulder and closed his eyes, hands circled on the elder's waist. Mark hugged his torso, stroking his hair, kissing his head, humming slow song. They stayed like that, letting themselves being vulnerable in each other's arms. Drunk on the feeling of being loved. And they were contented.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
